Crumbs From The Table

We all know there's a gender pay gap in this country the size of the San Andreas fault. So I suppose that any efforts to tackle it should be welcomed. Still the government's latest plans to ask companies to voluntarily publish their gender-pay balance is way short of what is needed.

Firstly "voluntary" laws don't work. Can you imagine if the motorways had "voluntary" speed limits? No-one would stick to them unless their car physically wouldn't go any faster. And asking companies to adhere to a voluntary code is even more ridiculous - companies have a legal and practical obligation to behave in the interests of their shareholders. If that means ignoring voluntary rules then they not only will do so, they are effectively forced to do so.

Secondly publishing the data is a long way away from doing anything about it. As the headline says "Bill set to expose gender pay gap", not "Bill set to close gender pay gap". Maybe the resulting data will come with a corresponding scratch-and-sniff wallchart telling you just how badly you're getting screwed! Mmmm, what's that smell, oh yes bullshit! Clearly there need to be penalties for companies that don't get on with closing the gap.

Now of course they have said that if companies don't voluntarily follow the code, they will get really, really cross and do something. When? Oh in 2013. When they most likely won't even be in power any more. So just four more years of not getting to know how badly you're being screwed over women. Then it'll likely be up to the Tories to make the next step - so it'll probably be bringing back crinolines and workhouses.

Not that I should strain my pretty little head on the subject anyway. Only companies with over 250 employees are affected and only employees, not contract workers. So lets see how many... oh yes that's it... ALL comedy clubs in the UK will be totally exempt.

Would make fascinating reading though - seeing what clubs pay their male and female stars. I was in Reigate tonight at a lovely little club run by Terry The Stand-Up who runs a whole string of friendly clubs around Surrey - do check them out if you live that way - and I was headlining so tonight at least I must have been the act making the most money*!

*And no - I can't lend you a fiver!

Please Sir, Can I have Some More?

According to the Washington Post, women ask for more money or wage increases less frequently than men do. We hear this a lot as though it were the conclusion of the debate on women's wages. Clearly there are a number of other issues going on:

1) Women are taught from an early age that it's rude to ask for more. When I think about the issues - I know personally my gut reaction is to feel I should be grateful for what I'm offered, but then I remember having that drummed into me as a kid.

2) I've never asked for a raise without first testing the waters - dropping a few hints to see if it's worth asking. Lots of women are undoubtedly being discouraged from asking, being "let know" not to bother. I know I've transferred departments before and on joining the new team been told "You're doing very well for yourself for a young girl like you...". Didn't take me long to figure out it wasn't worth asking for more.*

3) When I have asked for a raise and been refused, to save face my employers and I have generally "re-framed" the conversation. "I'm glad you're interested in joining the new project, I'm just sorry we don't have quite the right spot for you"... So maybe refused wage rise applications don't get counted as applications for wage increase but as other types of meeting.

4) Applications for wage increases do not help companies so women should be congratulated for using up less management time and demanding less money. To ensure they do not fall behind on wages we should immediately introduce compulsory annual wage reviews which address at the gender pay gap specifically. We also need to make it compulsory for companies to offer transparency on wages - so women can see if they are falling behind.

And then if you read to the end of the report we discover the horrible truth - in the study, men were less prepared to hire and work with women who negotiated for more money. But indifferent about whether the guys they worked with negotiated or not. So we discover that women who seem the negotiating type never get hired in the first place. No wonder we have all learnt not to stick our necks out!

*Although I did ask not to be referred to as a "young girl" when I was nearly 30 and doing all the actual complicated work on the team. Filling a "Hermione Grainger" role...