An enormous poster by Waterloo station today brags "Channel 4's Alternative Election Night". A flyer enclosed in my copy of Private Eye today bears the same legend. So what could possibly be the alternative to the three posh white straight able-bodied guys that are Brown, Clegg and Cameron? How about three other posh white straight guys: Jimmy Carr, David Mitchell and Charlie Brooker. Inside the leaflet they claim a fourth pundit - Lauren Laverne. Of course she's not a comedian and on the ensuing pages there are "hilarious"* quotes from the boys but all we see of Lauren is a picture of her looking really pretty with a lot of make-up on.
Which dictionary are they looking up the word "alternative" in?