Showing posts with label christmas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label christmas. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Christmas thank you list

I thought I would write my Christmas thank you list earlier this year. I was thinking about the how some of the most vilified people in our society actually are doing incredibly important work. So thank you to:

1) Health and safety inspectors. Yes some of us appreciate living in a society where children aren't allowed to be send up chimneys and scaffolding can't be made out of cheese. Is it getting in the way of your massive corporations mega-profits? Oh well maybe don't put your employees at risk then, no?

2) No-win, no fee lawyers. Legal aid is harder and harder to get hold of in this country and there's a recession on so less and less people can afford legal support when they've been injured or ripped off. If you've had a serious injury and are having difficulty getting back to work the financial distress can be huge. So if that injury was caused by negligence or dangerous behaviour you're entitled to get some compensation. If it's not a real case, judges can throw it out.

3) Chuggers - aka "charity muggers" the people who accost you in the street and ask you to sign up to charitable direct debit commitments. Yes, I know, I've sworn at them sometimes too, especially the animal charity ones! But the point remains - charities desperately need money. I'd much rather they were in the street than going door-to-door and waking me up. And regular direct debit donations are a much better way of funding charities, giving them long term funding and predictability of income. If you don't like being interrupted in the street or worry about the amount of your donation that might end up in the chugger's pocket (though they're entitled to earn a living too!) why not find a couple of good causes and sign up online now? How about Eaves Housing who support women who have been trafficked to the UK and Wateraid who build water and sanitation pipelines in the third world?

So thanks very much to those much-maligned people!

I've been super-busy the last few months both with the never-ending excitement about the Atheist Bitchslap and with a gruelling touring schedule for a variety of reasons. So I'm taking Christmas off now (though I will moderate comments, etc every couple of days) and leaving town for a little bit. My plan is not to perform while I'm away but if any blog/bitchslap fans are in L.A. and want to arrange a festive drinks night, please get in touch.

Happy Winterval all!!

Monday, December 14, 2009

All I Want For Christmas...

Trying to decide what to get your favourite blogstress for Christmas? I want one of these!!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Dear Santa

I have just seen an advert on TV for an anti-wrinkle cream (the one in the picture), which they described as "the perfect Christmas gift".

So let me make a quick announcement: If you buy me anti-wrinkle cream for Christmas I will be offended.

Just as if you had bought me a book called "Reiki For Controlling Bad Breath" or "How To Overcome Binge Eating Through Feng Shui". Not that I think there is any shame in having wrinkles or bad breath or an eating disorder - but if you are giving me something to help me resolve that problem then you are (a) telling me I have a problem which I might not be aware of or comfortable sharing (or actually a problem I might not have!) and (b) implying that you know better than I do how to address that problem. That will not fill me with festive cheer.

And if anyone does get you anti-wrinkle products for Christmas I recommend a little trick my sister came up with when someone tried to pull that stunt on us a few years back: look surprised, delighted, but a little embarrassed and hold it up while loudly saying "Oh gosh, for my bum! How did you know? Thank you!".

The one we were bought was one that claimed to fight "the seven signs of aging" which led to a four-day debate on what these signs were...

"Wearing cardigans is definitely one."
"I think buying Peter Gabriel albums might be one"
"Knowing the words to ABBA songs...?"
"Making a noise when you stand up?"
"Inability to use predictive text?"

Etc, etc. Feel free to add your own comedy signs of aging in comments if you know one!