Thanks very much to everyone who's been in touch since Saturday about my appearance on BBC Radio Five Live. For those who missed it - the subject up for debate was those dreadful "purity" and "virginity" cult spreading over here at the moment from the US. Of course there was mention of religion being pushed on school children, as well as the drive for abstinence-only education. What we ended up focusing on though was whether there is some objective "moral good"- regardless of religion - to holding off on sex until you are married. Well my point was that sex isn't dirty or disgusting or morally bankrupt - done right with the right person it's a lot of fun.Well of course the phone lines started ringing saying I didn't know what I was talking about and that casual sex causes disease*(1), teen pregnancy*(1) and leads to emotional hurt when relationships break up*(2). So I said that I had had casual sex in my life so I did know what I was talking about, probably rather better than those arguing with me.
Anyway that was about the last word of reason on the show because the phone lines were going crazy with people ringing in to call me all sorts of names... I mean people were actually cut off because of the language they were using towards me! Too funny. One guy rang in to say I'd never get married now and that if Mr Cru had heard me on air he'd be gone before I got home (he was still there)...
And amazingly while healthy, safe, consensual sex between two adults is enough to have the general public screaming in outrage, it's considered so normal and commonplace for men to go out and pay women for sexual services that they hand out discount vouchers for it at the Tory party conference! How screwed up is that?
For some reason that picture of David Cameron, which I saw in the Daily Mail, seemed appropriate...
*(1) The evidence suggests the opposite - that the abstinence promotion organisations in the US and the UK have resulted in more STDs and teen pregnancies because young people are not taught the facts about their own bodies and not encouraged to carry condoms.
*(2) Weird - because you don't have to have sex in a relationship to be hurt when it's over. And who the hell goes through life without experiencing some emotional pain? Why would you even try to do that, regardless that it's pretty obviously not possible?
3 comments:
Ha, hope Mr Cru hasn't left you left!
Poor you having to cope with that abuse, though.
Seems some people can't cope with the idea of women having casual sex.
It's the double standard, see. Only MEN are allowed to sleep around.
Don't you know only women have feelings and stuff...cos feelings are girly. No man ever finds sex meant more to him than it did to the woman...nope, men don't get their feelings hurt...
I mean, I think casual sex is right for some people and definitely not for others, but men face pressure to sleep around and women are called sluts for doing the same.
Interestingly there were definitely two kinds of call-in abuse-shouters:
1) The ones who think all sex outside of marriage is an abomination and a-moral and will lead to no good.
2) Those who only apply this rule to women.
The latter said all sorts of weird things: one guy rang in to say he didn't mind if a woman had had a few partners but he didn't want her to have had too many. Weird that I know Mr Cru would say when he met me he was looking for someone smart, attractive and interesting, not a woman with a "magic" number between 5 and 10...!!
And a woman rang in to say what was I going to tell men I dated? Some of her friends had "had" to lie to men about how many guys they'd slept with!
I don't really understand the idea that you should or shouldn't do something you want to do because of what men think. I just do my thing in my life and I've never had a shortage of men wanting to date/sleep with/commit to me before...
This post was nominated for this weeks BBRU 188 hosted on my site
Happy reading
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