Feministing has picked up on this rather worrisome article on CBS apparently the author is advising men that doing more housework will get them laid more often.Over on Feministing there's lots of discussion of what share of the housework is a fair share. I'm sure that 50% is the obvious answer assuming that both partners have a balanced relationship in other areas. And also on whether men should get extra praise for doing housework since it constitutes a break-out from traditional gender roles. Well I'm happy to give them extra praise but I want it right back for me when I get a job, wind up as primary breadwinner and manage to unscrew tight jar lids on my own.
What bugs me more though is the other end of the deal... the idea that women will (sub-consciously mind) trade sex for housework. This rather assumes:
1) The woman doesn't actually want sex.
2) The woman, despite not wanting sex, is prepared (sub-consciously anyway) to do it in return for other things.
3) The man wants sex all the time.
4) The man wants sex with the woman even if the woman doesn't want sex and presumably therefore even if the woman isn't enjoying it.
5) The man is comfortable (consciously to his mind) trading other things for sex.
If any one of those things was true of my relationship, I would be seriously worried.
2 comments:
Maybe it's just the case that unless you tidy up you can't find the bed.
I think for the most part men and women have similar libidos, but sexism causes things that turn women off. If a women is doing all the housework and childcare and other women's work and working full time, she's going to be tired and no one has a strong libido when they're tired all the time. Also, nagging men to do their share isn't much of a turn-on, and coming home to find the dishes *he said* he'd do still dirty so now you have to do them is going to kill any libido you had. On the other side, if a guy is actively doing his share then she won't be tired from doing too much, won't be stressed from seeing all that isn't done that she wishes he'd do, and they won't get in fights over him not doing enough, so all those things won't be infringing on her natural libido so she'll likely be hornier. So yes, doing equal housework can result in more sex without it boiling down to prostitution for housework, even if the writer of the CBS article doesn't get that and managed to write one of the creepiest articles on housework ever.
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