Who died and made him pope?

The pope has been putting the world to rights in his Easter speech. Who asked him? Personally I prefer my political advice from someone who:

(a) Doesn't espouse the idea of completely outlawing contraception - the only hope the planet has of not choking itself to death with environmental degradation in the next few generations.

(b) Doesn't believe a load of superstitious nonsense about the earth being created in six days, an afterlife with angels and/or demons and a "loving" god who detests homosexuals.

(c) Doesn't dress like he's on his way to a Dungeons and Dragons convention.

Rowan Williams has done much better and restricted his comments to the latest bandwagon-jumping Harry Potter copy-cat novel: The Da Vinci Code.