Sunday, July 24, 2005

How the other half lives...

...I pay so little attention to the culture of "lads" mags that it would have been quite possible for this one to pass me by. Luckily the Guardian have taken the time to discuss the Zoo Magazine "Win your girlfriend a £4,000 boob job" competition.

I've never been a big fan of magazines which present themselves as being somehow cultural or mainstream and are in practice just pornography. How weird though to imagine that anybody's girlfriend would be thrilled to have their fella come home bragging "I've won you a boob job". Here are six little-known facts about boob jobs, specially compiled for you by the top staff at Cru-blog (that's me):

1) Some women have big boobs naturally and don't want a boob job.

2) Some women with smaller boobs prefer their slim, sporty image and don't want a boob job.

3) Some women don't fancy the idea of invasive surgery and a lengthy recovery process, pain and bruising, and don't want a boob job.

4) Having a boob job significantly reduces the sensitivity of the breasts and hence sexual pleasure, for this reason some women don't want a boob job.

5) Having a boob job usually means a woman will subsequently be unable to breast feed any children they may have. For this reason some women don't want a boob job.

6) Sometimes surgery goes wrong. Aside from the results not living up to expectations, having a boob job can be fatal. for this reason some women don't want a boob job.

If your girlfriend wants a boob job I suggest talking to her about why she feels that way and the dangers associated with surgery. It's probably a self-esteem issue. Probably related to the fact that you're a rubbish boyfriend...

If your boyfriend wants to win you a £4,000 boob job, just dump him, he's an idiot.

8 comments:

Cruella said...

To my mind the implication of offering such a thing as a prize is that all women want it. That's my point. If I wasn't a lot smarter I'd think that you deliberately misunderstand everything I write because you get some sort of cheap thrill from it.

Cruella said...

err, no, thanks for asking though. clearly the suggestion "win a boob job for your girlfriend" implies that "your girlfriend" will want a boob job. its not even "win a boob job for yourself". it also carries the nasty inferrence that a woman's body can be redesigned at will by her boyfriend. surely even you can see that is noxious?

i don't advocate any restrictions on who can and can't have elective surgery but i think surgery - which can be fatal - shouldn't be treated as casually as this. i would advocate counselling for anyone who strongly feels that they want surgery.

Anonymous said...

If you have a boyfriend who wants to win you a £4000 boob job, you're probably not reading this blog.

Cruella said...

Ah wufnik, if you have a boyfriend who wants to win you a £4000 boob job, then there is really a lot i don't know about you!

Cruella said...

Of course it carries that inference. Otherwise why doesn't it invite the girlfriends of the magazines readers to enter the competition themselves and win surgery for themselves?

Anyway my point is that surgery, which - did I mention - can be FATAL, should not be treated so lightly as to be offered as a prize in a magazine.

Cruella said...

Hello. I don't read the magazine myself either but I know people who sometimes buy it. It's certainly a mainstream read. It's the sort of thing that's available in most newsagents (I went round four this morning looking for a copy of Private Eye and noticed it was in all four, though none carried Private Eye).

Cruella said...

it's not just in a men's magazine - it's under the heading "win a boob job FOR your girlfriend", the inferrence that this is about a man controlling what his girlfriend looks like couldn't be plainer if it coshed you over the head with a lump of lead piping. If you don't find that inferrence disgusting, I don't know what is!

Cruella said...

Of course women can make up their own minds, but they need fair and balanced information in order to do so. You can't make a decision effectively when this isn't available.