Argh! Daily Mail Fail (as usual)

And there was me thinking I wasn't angry enough for the day, thanks Daily Mail!

First up Giles Coren has written a relatively reasonable piece about the shortage of women in the comedy DVD charts. I agree with a fair few of his points although it is frustrating that he says that women comics "tend to avoid accusations of sexism because they don’t want to sound like they’re whingeing" and then doesn't bother to address the fact that the real problem might be, erm, sexism, or indeed uber-sexism to the point where a woman can't even mention the s-word without being criticised for it! Also - and I hope this is a failed attempt at humour - he says "the Christmas television schedule: endless male comedy and not so much as a snort from the girls, unless you count the last episode of Miranda." In what sense is Miranda Hart NOT a woman? Has there been a rule change? I have a vagina, am I still in?*

Anyway he says in the middle he generally find women funnier than men and goes on to rave about his regular co-star Sue Perkins and how hilarious she is. Yet somehow the Daily Mail saw fit to title this article "So why aren't there any FUNNY women comics any more?". which implies that there are hundreds of female comics out there being offered DVD deals and their own shows, but sadly they're all rubbish. But I can't find a stand-up DVD by a woman on sale right now. Releasing a DVD is a huge deal - it requires planning and marketing. It's not a case of writing some funny jokes and wandering round the circuit until someone offers you a deal - deals are done years in advance and then promotional tours organised, posters, TV and radio appearances... In Edinburgh this year one magazine gave my panel show 5 stars and John Bishop's solo show 2 stars. But he got the Wembley Stadium gigs and the DVD deal. What gives? It has to be systematic sexism that means no women are getting to produce stand-up DVDs. How can we be dismissing as rubbish a group of DVDs that DOESN'T EXIST. Doh!

Anyway it gets worse.

Isabelle Caro - the French model whose emaciated body was at one point used to highlight eating disorders - has died. And the Mail chooses to mention that she blamed her disorder on her "difficult childhood". They mention NO OTHER contributing factors to eating disorders.

Now... Read down the headlines on the right hand side of the page:

Look out Posh! Now Geri Halliwell makes her fashion design debut with her own swimwear range. And she modelled line for next.

Lose TWO INCHES of festive flab by tomorrow - and look svelte for New Year. Feeling bloated after the Christmas festivities? Help is at hand.

That's not going to help your diet! Michael McIntyre takes his lookalike sons out for lunch. Family outing to McDonalds.

"My husband says he'll divorce me if I get fat". While SAMANTHA BRICK was poorly with an upset tummy, Pascal kept reminding her that she'll be losing weight.

Elisabetta Canalis's bikini can't shore up much support as she emerges from the sea... revealing a little too much.

Beaming Kate Moss can't hide her excitement as she and Jamie Hince jet off for New Year's holiday. Couple heading for Phuket in Thailand.

Kourtney Kardashian reveals slimming secrets after beating her sisters in diet battle. She's lost 3st 2lb.

And nine of the photos down the side of the website feature women in revealing bikinis/beachwear. None of them with any visible "flab".

Isn't it time to quit the faux concern and admit the Daily Mail itself is part of the problem?

*Two footnotes here: (1) There are some women comics with big enough ovaries to point at sexism and go "oh look - it's sexism". See, erm, my solo show, my blog, my career, etc. (2) Yes there are some female acts who tend to get drowned out on panel shows. But women are not all alike, we're not a "genre" actually. If you have a panel show, and you want to look all liberal and modern and not like a douchbag, call me - I will be more than happy to interrupt all the guys, be hilarious and rip Frankie Boyle a new one, the only question is what shall we do AFTER lunch?

Barbie World

I am featured in a student documentary about Barbie dolls and their impact on young women. It's in two sections below - I'm mostly in the first half of the second section. For some reason as soon as I start talking about feminist issues all the cats in the neighbourhood show up - it's like they know that secretly I'm their leader...

Strangers on the (Bendy) Bus

Firstly apologies for the recent quiet on here - Mr Cru has broken his foot and this means I am now doing the freelance work of two people, including all the heavy lifting he usually does - moving pool tables and stages, etc. Plus fetching cups of tea and meals for him and I'm not even allowed to shout at him for lying on the sofa all day cos he's poorly.

Anyway a couple of things I wanted to comment on. I had a very interesting conversation with a man on the bus the other day. We were chatting about the newspaper I was reading. There was an article about the amount of money the government is spending on "counter-terrorism", accusing anyone with a larder and an alarm clock of owning a bomb-factory. I pointed out that terrorism has killed about 50 people in the last five years in the UK while two women a week are killed by their partners and the government has no clear strategy and clearly doesn't see it as a priority. So be careful who you sit next to on the bus unless you want a feminist lecture!

But this guy replied that he had done jury duty a few years ago on a case of domestic violence and was horrified that the CPS prosecutor didn't even bother to show up for the last day of the case, didn't ask any of the questions he wanted to hear answers to. Meanwhile the defense wove a totally fantastical story which he really couldn't believe but because the prosecution was so weak he wasn't able to convince the other jurors and the guy ended up getting off. He was saying that he didn't think cases like that should be heard by juries but by panels of experts instead - people who could themselves question witnesses and demand additional information if they wanted. Obviously just one anecdote but interesting none the less.

Secondly I was in a supermarket and I had that moment of seeing someone, recognising them and instantly knowing I didn't want to speak to them. I slipped away into the pasta sauces aisle. But I realised why I completely instinctively didn't want to talk to her. We were at university together 15 years ago. Back then she was seriously anorexic - extremely underweight with dark rings round her eyes. We were friends at college but I was well aware of how much the eating disorder was taking over her life - I had just recovered from mine at the time. She counted calories obsessively, ate almost nothing except salads and spent hours in the kitchen preparing fancy things to give to others or to give the impression she was eating more than she was. And when I saw her in the supermarket - she was still that thin and that ill looking.

That means she's spent the last fifteen years on the verge of malnutrition with her every spare minute taken up obsessing over the tiniest piece of food. I just couldn't bear to ask her how she was doing or what she'd been up to - because I knew. Fifteen years wasted. That's so sad I don't want to have to think about it. But it's a reality for a huge tranche of the population. Mostly women, but also guys. And it's yet another thing that government has no clear strategy for dealing with and clearly doesn't see as a real priority.

In fact I've seen more comments from senior politicians in recent months about the merits of the bendy bus (in this case very much doing it's job) than I have about domestic violence or eating disorders. And this misplaced focus is a real waste when there are huge problems destroying people's (mostly women's) lives which we could be addressing.